I recently read the following piece of over at DaddyNatal.
“First for the bomb shell, research has shown up to 6 out of 10 expectant fathers at some point in the pregnancy will suffer doubts and fears regarding the paternity of the unborn baby. Definitely on each course I teach, at least a couple of blokes, have been, or are dealing with this. It is so common, yet of course, often not spoken about. This is an important fear to deal with because it can affect the expectant fathers’ behaviour during pregnancy, attitude at birth and relationship with the baby.”
“What else? Well we men also worry about how we will support our family. Or worry about handling a baby and not knowing what to do. Again, both purely natural. I am convinced that if we all waited until we were in right financial position to have children, man would be in danger of extinction!”
Luckily, the first fear, I don’t have a problem with. I have never questioned this and I feel sorry for anybody that has to wonder about the fidelity of their partner. The second fear however, is a big one for me.
Before the age of 9 (When my parents separated), I can remember always going on holiday and never remember wanting things and not being able to have them. I do know that after 9 years old, that all changed. I know we never had any money but never felt like I went without. I personally feel that this has enabled me, as an adult, to appreciate every penny we have and to manage my money responsibly.
There are 2 things that help me sleep at night. The first is the fact that I know, as with my mum, there are many people out there with less money than we have and still manage to provide a great life for their child and secondly, both me and Christine both believe we can make it work and thats enough for me!
We recently started looking into what benefits are available to us and it shocked me how little we were entitled to. We don’t even qualify for free vegetables because we are not already on benefits!
It may be hard, it may be demanding but to beat a fear, you have to face it and in August, I will do just that.
What fears did you have and how did you over come them?