Sunday, 19 June 2011

My dad.

I have a very bad memory. Christine can tell me what shifts she is working the coming week and I will have forgotten them the next day. Where my memory really fails me is my childhood, not really sure why, but I have difficulty recollecting most things unless I am given some sort of prompt and then the information sometimes starts flooding back. What I do remember is not being particularly close to my dad.

As I have mentioned before, my parents separated when I was 9 and my mom didn’t move far so I could stay close to my dad. Even, so I always kind of felt a distance between me and “the old man”.
The weirdest thing is, we became closer as we were further apart. Dad moved to Spain in 2003 and when he did, he started using windows messenger. Using this, we spoke nearly every night instead of every fortnight. We talked about football, the weather (Mostly him telling me how warm it was), work, you know the usual stuff you would talk to your mates about in the pub. That’s what our relationship was like, mates but I never lost sight that it was my dad and was grateful for our improved relationship.

He was always a man’s man, didn’t believe in showing emotion and would never really let you know how he felt, that was until he got older. By the time he hit 60, he was a different man for the better. He told his kids he loved them which I never remember him telling me as a child.

When he reached his 60th, my sister Sharon was also living over in Spain and for his birthday organised a ‘This is your life’ type evening and myself and Christine also flew out to surprise him. As Sharon live abroad, I had to do all the research and running around here in the UK and I learned more about him speaking to his sisters and seeing where he grew up than I ever had done before. The evening was a massive success and we could all see how much the evening meant to him and although he tried to hide it, I defiantly saw a few tears creep down his cheek.

In a previous post called influence and inspiration. I spoke about my mum being the main influence in my life and she always will be but, seeing my dad change from the man who held his emotions at bay change to somebody not afraid to tell his own kids how much he loved them taught me to make sure I am not afraid to show my son or daughter from day 1 how much they mean to me.

Sunday 19th June 2011 is father’s day and Wednesday 22nd June 2011 is the 2nd year anniversary of his passing. It’s still painful to think of his loss and as I have a tear in my eye as I type this, especially as I am watching Sharon’s wedding as I transfer it to DVD and I can see both my parents , both extremely happy on such a beautiful occasion.

Dad, I love you and miss you dearly. Happy fathers day.


  1. Awesome. The men of the previous generation were a strange breed. I feel bad for them really. They were asked to show emotions that men, up to that point, didn't ever show. And most dads, mine included, didn't. And still do, to this day. I'm glad you got to get closer to him before he left. Thanks for sharing...because losing a parent is never easy to share.

    You're already a great dad, just keep it up! The game changes in a couple of very short months! LOL (Your wife is 1 week further along than my wife.)

  2. Beautiful post & so sorry he's not with you any more. You'll be a great dad I promise with an attitude like that!